Means What It Means

by The Ellis Collective

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1.
04:45
2.
04:27
3.
03:38
4.
05:04
5.
04:54
6.
05:24
7.
05:55
8.
9.
04:49
10.
11.
07:27

credits

released July 4, 2011

All songs written by The Ellis Collective
All songs recorded and mixed at Infidel
studios by Duncan Lowe
All songs mastered at Studio 301 by Steve Smart

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license

all rights reserved

about

The Ellis Collective Australia

The Ellis Collective create a patchwork of emotion that recounts the sadness, sickness, love and indecision that weaves its way through the fabric of everyday Australian life.

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Track Name: 1997
LYRICS

I can still remember when I met you in the dark,
With your arms around another - but this other lit my spark.
I can still recall the times of driving in the blue, just trying to put my finger on the change I saw in you.

I thought you'd laugh but you turned and cried,
Today I wonder why I always walk a step behind.

You were there.

Six o'clock. Is it six am or did I drink myself to sleep?
You're all alone and I'm still stumbling home this shit goes far too deep.
Your friends all know and they watch me go on this pale September night,
You were right to sin, so rub it in because nothing here feels right.

On second thoughts I'll just drive away and forgive myself another day,
The talk's so cheap - at least that's what they say.

You were there.

As the cold crept in to meet the night,
I lay down low and lost my fight,
Because you always win if you're always right.

You were there.
Track Name: Mondays
LYRICS

It was a rough day and the beers be my breakfast,
I'll sleep - I could sleep in 'til Tuesday.
Lately I'm finding that I cry for no reason at things,
Like vinegar stings these things that my friends say.
They say "Oh, you're a piss poor liar and you're full of poor excuses."
All these words that I just cannot say,
I learn my lessons in the hardest ways.

Then it was a Monday and she pinched a smoke on the steps of the library,
She said "My parents don't know that I smoke and I'm scared they'll find out so I don't,
I actually won't - I never buy them."
I said "Oh, I can never say no to pretty girls who want tobacco"
"Oh, I think I like you but I hate myself,
I have cut off lovers just to spite myself."

"'Cos I am the token King of The Broken Things",
An awkward pause and she says "That's fine my love"
"Oh but there's one more thing, and it's everything 'cos it's my life - if you can call this a life....
Just you be there Sunday morning on time"

I'll drive I'll drive us away on the coast road,
The Bay where I fully intend to cement my intentions,
And I will watch what I say and not be the one to read the last page and fuck up the ending.

We say "Oh, it's a long slow climb up The Clyde behind that Valiant"
These worn out sneakers I refuse to change,
That Bill Murray movie where things stay the same.
But not me.
Girl eventually I can change.
I promise.
Track Name: 7 Days Later
LYRICS

Girl you know I'm gonna move home,
'Cos I can't get this shit sorted on my own,
And it's been a long time since I was sober.

You'll come around - maybe see me a bit?
We can talk like we did before all of this shit,
'cos it feels like this could be over.

I can see you walk in,
Just look how fast I'm falling,
You take time and you'll get older and
You'll believe the things I told you.

Tell me what it is I have to prove,
'cos I won't flinch baby,
I won't move until this weight comes from off your shoulders.
See there's one sure thing I will never forget,
Beside the one sure thing I will forever regret,
It feels like summer just got colder.

I can see you walk in,
Just look how fast I'm talking,
You take time and you'll get older and
You'll believe the things I told you.

Girl you know I'm gonna move home,
'Cos I can't get this shit sorted on my own,
And it's been a long time since I was sober.

You'll come around - maybe see me a bit?
We can talk like we did before all of this shit,
'cos it feels like this could be over.

I can see you walk in,
Just look how fast I'm falling,
You take time and you'll get older and
You'll believe the things I told you.
Track Name: Secret Signs
LYRICS

The long black and the soft cigarette packs are the breakfast of sinners,
With our backpacks, shit-stirring and patience for mates getting thinner,
She said "Don't leave me.", I said "I'm leaving."
She held to my hand like a glove,
I choose to live in this hard part of town,
You can holiday north if you want.

It backfired and we all slowed down in that F3 fiasco,
I was tongue-tied, through the heat-waves off the tar I saw you through my rear view,
You know mining for gold in these Hollywood Hills is a pursuit for the strong and the young,
When this old man hits empty he fills up at a bar,
And I ponder the thing I've become.

At the Norville I stepped on pieces of glass,
We were at the Three Worlds by tea-time,
On my concrete mattress with one sheet in a basement near Sunshine,
While up in the airstream the big things move quickly,
Down here I trade insults with God,
Girl your wings are wated while you're living with me,
'Cos I am just wasted my love.

Well we got so close but things all upped and broke near the Cundletown turn-off,
That's near Taree, in my flashbacks we were all there just crouched in the ditches,
Some lose their jobs as the petrol gets pricey,
Others lose houses and others lose loves,
But our hearts keep on beating and our mouths still have words,
And I can still scratch your name next to mine in the mud.
Track Name: Walls
LYRICS

Was I with you last might - I don't remember your face,
But I still heard your voice when I woke up - still in my place,
I know the way that we move and it isn't my fault,
I think that sooner or later you realise that you're getting old.

You realise that you're on your own and its different,
This don't feel like me at all,
Turning back again,
Bouncing of the walls... where I am the ball.

I left you today, you cried and cleaned up the floor,
I love no-one else but myself still I feel like the whore,
Sometimes there's things that I do that I cannot control,
I've been braving this weather forever until you come home.

I wake up and I'm still alone and it's different,
This don't feel like me at all,
Turning back again,
Bouncing of the walls... where I am the ball.

Where do you go when bridges you burn can't be crossed,
You told me I was the winner but it lingers and feels like a loss,
I know if I let this go it'll happen again,
We're the victim of systems and you pay for your good times with pain.

Until only the memory remains and it's different,
This don't feel like me at all,
Turning back again,
Bouncing off the walls... where I am the ball.
Track Name: Overblown
LYRICS

The highlights of my life have been this Friday night existence,
I woke up still drunk and full of cracks,
There's two things I can't buy back off this late night television,
One is you, and the other one, it's coming back.

Heaven keeps a secret forever, but sometimes let's it go.
I don't think this should be overblown.
Heaven kept your secrets from me so I pray it saves your soul.
I don't think this should be over, but it's probably over, this has been overblown.

All my friends keep saying things that I had not considered, so I hold them back.
But thy're obvious, like passed out in my next door neighbours driveway, come on now - hold me back 'cos I've been drinking.

I'll find him out and I'll beat him down and you'll know I love you because all this jealousy will show.
I don't think this should be overblown.
Nothing says 'Hey girl - I'm thinking of you' like when I'm going through your phone.
I don't think this should be over, but it's probably over, this has been overblown.

Entitlement's a modern part of my middle class condition, but I can't have that.
All I got is these cheap shot, sweat-shop-fall-apart decisions and they're all my bad.

You see I still can't admit to anyone - not even my best friend - that you moved out of our home.
I don't think this should be overblown.
I can' see how far I've fucking fallen until I wake up on the kitchen floor alone.
I don't think this should be over, but it's probably over, this has been overblown.
Track Name: Wanderings
LYRICS

Please don't explain and don't be mysterious,
I have been serious for far too long now,
I won't feel the pain, I won't feel the weariness,
"This silence is eerie" she said when she came.

This is the sound of me leaving this town,
Because you won't come for me,
See it around it's a ghost that I found,
Somewhere I'm wandering free.

Oh what have I done and what has become of me,
Personal tradgedies, these words that I sell,
If Anna exists why did you set her free,
I think you're just like me - truths that you missed.

This is the sound of me leaving this town,
Because you won't come for me,
See it around it's a ghost that I found,
Somewhere I'm wandering free.

Don't push me away but don't get too close to me,
Only things I can see I can believe,
Look here he comes this lonely traveller
This stumbling stragller, this forsaken son.

This is the sound of me leaving this town,
Because you won't come for me,
See it around it's a ghost that I found,
Somewhere I'm wandering free.
Track Name: Means What It Means
LYRICS

I took the harder line
And I ran so fast I left them all behind
Never finish what you start, just keep living in the past
Its your best move.

I fell sick for a while,
But I've paid the ones I owed, I toed the party line,
So take the best of what you've got left, but what you gonna do about this hole in my chest,
When you shoot through

You tried to smile and all the while you fought the things you knew
Let me hide
Let me slide
It's nothing to do with you

I'm old and I know I turned away
But be that as it may,
I think it's safe to say,
I really hate the way that we left you,

It hits and it hurts just like a slap,
I flinched, but I never took it and I'll never take it back,
It's like paper cuts and cigarette butts,
They say one door opens when another one shuts,
But it's not true

You tried to smile and all the while you fought the things you knew
Let me hide
Let me slide
It's nothing to do with you

So I'll sleep but wake me when you're done,
Because it seems, the things I hate are the things that I've become
But so what - now you find Im changing my mind,
Well you can keep the pieces that I'm leaving behind,
Because I am not you

You break the ones you want to save,
It seems that lovers take the things you never gave,
I never slept and tears that I wept,
Soaking through the pages of the letters I kept,
When I wrote to you (I should never have wrote to you).

You tried to smile and all the while you fought the things you knew
Let me hide
Let me slide
It's nothing to do with you
Track Name: Afterlife
LYRICS

I can count the seasons since it's been a happy home,
You spent more love on drink and drugs and a turned-off mobile phone,
I wish that you'd been cheating because it's easier that way,
Because a clean break would mean a clean repair instead I wore this heart away.

I'm done with guilty sex and alibis,
But I take no pleasure from the afterlife,
I will hold my head up and wave myself goodbye,
I'm so disappointed in the afterlife.

You're just a cheap hotel now, full of things that scratch and bite,
It's a joke to you, these towels for two because I sleep alone tonight,
You're just a mess all over this pretty inner north,
My intentions count for nothing now your love's a contact sport.

I'm done with guilty sex and alibis,
But I take no pleasure from the afterlife,
I will hold my head up and wave myself goodbye,
I'm so disappointed in the afterlife.

I wear this shirt you gave me and it covers green tattoos,
Like I will wear your memories over marks that I can't lose,
I will count the seasons until you lose those bitter pills,
I had the chance to stop those gaps but I guess I never will.
Track Name: Not That Kind
LYRICS

Is it too much to take, is it too much to bear,
Is it too much for you to handle when I'm not there,
I think you need to find your feet again.
There's too much you want, there's too much you need,
Too much of anything will kill you especially me,
If you do not find your feet again.

All your cries in the night, your mumbled confessions,
To lovers you lost who left their impressions,
They're long long gone,
But somehow they linger on,
Like your poisonous tongues that come with your drinking,
When I've done nothing wrong God what was I thinking.

I know that I should just let this go,
I could just let this go,
I could just let you go,
But I'm not that kind.

It's warm in November but it's cold where I am,
On my two wheels riding homewards, it's 5am,
Tonight I wish I was going back to someone else,
I will get there and lock up my thoughts here instead
Slide my blue jeans bedroom-floorwards and climb into bed,
I'll close my eyes so tonight I am with someone else,

See I've been here before and gone through these motions,
Confusing romance with too much emotion,
Just so you know,
I'll give it too you blow by blow,
I have never been one for settling down love,
So this is well understood - if push comes to shove then I go,

Yeah, I would just let this go,
I should just let this go,
I should just let you go,
But I'm not that kind.

If I'm such an uncertainty, tell me why am I back,
Post I notes on my bedroom mirror written in black,
I screwed them up but they broke my heart to throw away,
I'm under no false illusions that we have no regrets,
I'll have a beer to kick-start the memories, then twelve to forget,
It's all for you that I dedicate this Saturday, and every other day.

All of my dishes are piled in the sink where I left them,
My cigarette rattling, beer can collections,
My slept in clothes,
This is not the life I chose,
To take licks like I'm loving them, swallowing spiders,
Cheers to the hypocrite, moving inside you.

I know that I should just let this go,
I could just let this go,
I could just let you go,
But I'm not that kind.
Track Name: Don't Go
LYRICS

Well I was not made for this world for too long
Oh but eating my pride it has made me so strong
And the touch of these girls it has left me so weak
Now I can't stand my own name or walk on these streets

Don't go – stay saving my soul

Heart attacks, broken backs, bitches and liars
They have hovered around all the good in my life
Just like Alison said I should change all my locks
Just like the hit from these cigarettes won't let me stop

Don't go – stay saving my soul

There's comfort in strangers but I can't stop once I start
And I guess it's just a temporary cure for the holes in this heart
And the bits of me break off as I'm moving along
Years ago I stopped trying to stick 'em back on

Don't go – stay saving my soul